Talking to One's Self

I hear it many times. A ringing for my head upon a phone that I am not using. I dialed a number that had been previously punched in and there it is again...my other phone ringing. What timing, I thought as I reached for my second phone. How am I going to manage speaking on both phones. A silly worry, I suppose because it would be simple to hang one up and answer the other. Still, I am programmed to stick with a path I have chosen to take. And now, I have two paths. My dilemma is solved, no one answers my call, so I am now free to give my undivided attention to the ringing phone. Hello, I said to a single phone. No, reply. I reach for my other phone in order to try my call again...and it rings and rings and I was just about to give up when my other phone rings again. Hello! No reply. Who was playing this trick on me, didn't they realize I had a busy life. Well, obviously not! I was becoming more and more anxious as I tried to juggle two phone. Oh, dear, my first phone out had a busy signal. What was this world trying to tell me...I thought while dialing the same number I had tried before. The ringing of the other phone began again. No tricks this time, I thought as I ignored the ringing while the person on the other end of my call-out ignored my ringing. I became alert to both phones ringing. What on earth was going on? Glancing at my phone out number, I thought I recognized it. My goodness, I was phoning myself! I am sure you must have figured that out before I did.
I wanted to make sure, so I picked up my ringing phone and said, Hello for the third time. I was fairly upset and unpleasant at being disturbed by myself. How harsh I was to me. What message was this flapping of the butterfly wing trying to tell to me. Was I so disconnected with myself that I thought my frustration would be solved by getting angry with me.
My life, in a flash of a thought had come to a full circle, just as the phone call I made to myself. I complained when I found no one to answer me. I was really trying to stay in touch with the world and found myself out of touch with myself. Was I too unimportant to speak to myself? The answer was obvious...surely, I should have been able to do that. I have two phones. One is ringing out to me, and one is ringing in to me. So, I stayed on the line and answered. Hello? I heard an echo as if it were in my own head...Hello?? Who is this? Who is this?? Who are you trying to reach? Who are you trying to reach?? I didn't phone, you did? I didn't phone, you did?? No, you phoned me? No, you phoned me?? I had actually reached the point of arguing with myself...
I hung up both phones and gently placed them down, and walked away to be by myself and to somehow get in touch with myself in a way that I had needed to do for a long time. Who had I been trying to call? A friend to confide in. But only because I did not trust my own self. All along, I should have been that friend that I could confide in. All this communication in our lives has cut us off from ourselves. We only answer when we make a mistake and dial our own number. Ni